my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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