No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize