toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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