he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
