Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
