chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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