I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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