if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I know her cup size but not her name....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
