sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
