well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I currently don't understand fingers.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
