The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
