proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
