You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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