So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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