Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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