girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
