I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
