Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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