okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
