Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
