I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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