Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
