i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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