I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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