My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
