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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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