So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
