even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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