where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
