I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
