ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
