id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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