I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
And then my night got REAL pukey
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
