so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize