You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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