I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
