"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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