my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
should my penis look like a turkey
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
