i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
