oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
