Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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