I didn't shave. On purpose
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
