Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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