im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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