Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
