I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
