weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
