belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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