omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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