hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
