my room smells like sperm. sweet.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
