Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you never un-have a 4some
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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