Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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