The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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