on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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