he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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