i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The adults are the big ones right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
