hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
