margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
