He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
