I am puke
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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