do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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