Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
