The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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