I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
