so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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