party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize