youre lurking in front of me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
