That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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