sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My feet surprised me
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