i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
