We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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