I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
thus making me awesome and them whores
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
